Tips on Driving in Los Angeles

The following is a list of tips for driving in Los Angeles. There are many more that I could think of - these are just a few. It is not in any particular order:

Driving Tip #1: There are two lights on each side of the front and back of your vehicle to indicate to other drivers your intention to switch lanes. Not many people posses the ability to read minds, and certainly not people in LA. Luckily almost everyone in LA responds well to bright, blinking, flashing lights, so use them.

Driving Tip #2: If someone is driving like a complete asshole and you give him the “dude, there are ‘baby on board’ signs all over this freeway” look and he STILL insists on driving like a douche, call the police. I like to say I suspect a drunk drive and give the make, model and license plate number, but you can always go with “possible stolen vehicle”, “possible kidnapping/pedophile vehicle” or “possible car full of immigrants”.

Driving Tip #3 - Note to Pedestrians: I look both ways before crossing. Do you?

Driving tip #4: If people are honking all around you and you don't know why, don't worry about it. Eventually you'll see the “honk if you hate ......." signs as you continue driving.

Driving Tip #5: However if you do not see any "honk if you hate ......." signs. It probably means the light is green (and has been) and it's your turn to go. Please try to pay attention.

Driving Tip #6: The literal translation for those “Piolín” bumper stickers is “undocumented shitty driver”. If you are driving behind someone with said bumper sticker, get away from them immediately or you’ll regret it.

Driving Tip #7: When parking in a parking lot where there is no overnight parking, leaving a note on the dashboard that says “PLEASE DON’T TOW, I LIVE HERE” with your phone number on it, will not make a difference. Your car will still be towed. (True story).

Driving Tip #8 - Fun Fact: Eagle Rock is the road kill capital of California.

Driving Tip #9: There is a drive-thru Starbucks at the following locations in the greater LA area:

4430 York Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90041

919 S Central Ave, Glendale, CA 91204

1001 N San Fernando Blvd, Burbank, CA 91503

7724 Telegraph Rd, Los Angeles, CA 90040

20790 Lake Forest Dr, Lake Forest, CA 92630

2270 W Ramsey St, Banning, CA 92220

More exist. Google them yourself.

Driving Tip# 10: If the person to your left has their right blinker on to get into your lane, let them in. However, if that person is over the age of 70, ignore it. Their blinker has most likely been on for a few blocks now.

Driving Tip #11: What Would Jesus Do? He’d follow the above guidelines and be safe.